Magic Fix #26: Dealing with Difficult People.

This is my baby daughter, in actuality she is not difficult at all, she is a darling always (so far!)

Oh, I've been difficult!! My parents will attest to that. Having been a difficult person myself does not make dealing with other difficult people in my life any more easier, if at all, it can actually make it harder. We have all had moments when we might have wanted to be difficult, have a good old tanty, be stubborn and not comply in defiance, not accept the status quo, wanted to express our anger, disappointment or frustration at someone but this truth never makes dealing with 'other' difficult people any easier, does it? That is why, I went searching for answers, trying to find the 'magic fix' on dealing with difficult people in my own life because let's admit it, we have all had those 'moments' within our own family, friends and strangers we encounter.


I use YOUTUBE a lot lately, I tend to avoid the sex, drugs and the general debauchery that goes on there but instead subscribe to a few channels that helps me with my daily life, like my practice of meditation and yoga. Coincidentally, I cam across this channel by a very young black african man and I was completely taken aback by his wisdom and depth of character. I even showed it to my husband, who was amused and said "don't send this to your sisters, their husbands might get jealous". Laughing, I had to agree, he is cute but as for myself, I was more interested in what he had to say in this post about dealing with difficult people. Teehee.

If you don't have the 20 minutes to watch the video( he can come across a little cheesy at times) here is a breakdown of what he says, summed up in six easy steps:

first of all, don't forget to LOVE, even at times when you don't feel it, ACT love until you feel it because it is better that not (this is my own note!)

second, whatever anyone does or says to hurt, do not take it PERSONAL. Because often it's said or done because they are finding it difficult dealing with their own ISSUES!

third, stay CALM. Most challenging personalities in ones life thrive on your reactivity because they feed on the ensuing DRAMA. So just breath easy and sail right past them, especially when they try to incite a negative reaction from you.

forth,  realize that as long someone is having a negative affect on you by their actions or words, it is a reflection on YOU. You may have things to learn about YOURSELF and that is why the negative friction is present in your life. By having this person in your life, you may be forced to self-reflect and become a more loving person yourself.

fifth,  put yourself in the other persons shoes. There may be a number of reasons why he or she is not more loving: they may have had a difficult childhood, had friction in their own past relationships, they may feel like they are not worthy of your love or admiration etc. By experiencing this difficult person, you can learn to be  more FORGIVING.

LASTLY, put it in PERSPECTIVE. In the grand scheme of things, how important is this relationship or encounter? Put it behind you and move on to better things, expanding your life towards love and having friendships/relationships with those who have the capacity within themselves to love you back and be more loving.

Have you had difficult people in your life, husbands, children, family, in-laws, friends, work colleagues? How did you deal with it? Best of all, were you able to walk away happy?

Magic Fix #20: Just do me a favor...DIY!

Well, if you are one of the lovely folks reading our blog, you'll know that our general life philosophy is simple...

spend, spend and SPEND... more quality time with family and folks that we love and treasure!

Recently, this is how we managed to do just that:

We made pixie wands by gluing a gum nut and a strand of ribbon to sticks that we collected on our walks.

We made little favor bags with calico and attached gum leaves as decorations. Then we made hair bands by platting three strands of organza together.

We had fun being creative, while we did it!

We made book marks! Its easy,  just fold some card in half, do your stamping and then paste two small strips of magnet facing each other on the inside. It's a great book mark because it will never fall off your page!

We made super cute favor bags. 

These were our DIY favors for the girls pixie party that I wrote about previously here. It was a great success because...

1. The kids enjoyed decorating their organza plats with leaves and flowers.

 2. The kids enjoyed a treasure hunt using the treasure map and experienced the thrill of discovering the favors hidden among the greenery.

3. The kids enjoyed their favors. They also, together, made for some super cute pictures!

OK, you may be thinking that it all looks like a lot of work but we made the favors spread over several weeks and it sure does beat watching re-runs of cartoons on TV... besides its all for LOVE. I don't think I'll ever complain that my kids grew up too fast because with this much quality time spent with each other, I am enjoying EVERY moment SPENT!

We LOVE you READERS! 

We wish you many, many happy days like these too...xx

Magic Fix #19: Party with a Difference!

It is usually quite uncommon to find parents of city kids opting for an outdoor birthday party for their children. Last year, out of all the parties our kids attended, there were  dress up parties, bowling parties,  movies, sports or gymnastic parties, skating parties, all indoors...

 but nothing in the outdoors!

Yes, I do understand that the uncertainty of weather  can make outdoor parties prohibitive but that cannot be the only reason for not having them. Aside from organized sports activities and the obligatory trip to the local park, city kids tend to prefer not to spend their time climbing trees or digging in the dirt but expect instantly gratifying activities, wanting fast paced, action packed and highly stimulating experiences not unlike the video games and TV shows that are so popular these days. Of course, the other benefit of an indoor party obviously is that they are so darn convenient! Most busy parents prefer that the activities are run for them and goodie bags are supplied, even the food and birthday cakes are catered rather than homemade.  For my second daughters sixth birthday, for convenience, I chose the option of such a party. 

I had a stand in mom and dad, a.k.a. recreation leader or party co-ordinator:

She cheered for the birthday girl.

He kept the kids in check and organized.

and she even lit the birthday candles!

All I had to do was send out the invites and make the goodie bags. Although the day was completely stress free, I must say I felt a little dispensed with, not part of creating her special day; I felt like just another spectator from the outside looking in on a haze of activity, fun filled but not very personal. For our most recent party, we opted to slow down the pace a lot more and spend some quality time interacting with our little friends, enjoying just being with each other instead of being distracted by a lot of activity.

About a month ago, we made DIY invitations for our outdoor pixie party here. We pushed the birthday party out by a month to ensure good weather and had a combined party for both our daughters. With fifteen or more kids expected at our home, the magic fix was to utilize the awesome woodland reserve at the back of our house for an outdoor party.

We had a lovely time hunting for treasure, having a picnic, eating our goodies at a slow pace, enjoying the sun and in a grand finale sharing the eight layer rainbow cake that was made at home, with much love, by me. All the kids agreed that this party was a party with a difference! My kids would say that they enjoyed both the parties but I suspect that when they are adults, they will be better positioned to let me know which of the two parties bring back the best memories. What do you think they will say?

Magic Fix #12: A True Friend

Even in a world filled with billions of people, its not easy to find a true friend. In our family, we treasure those friends who love unconditionally, who are sincere, who genuinely want success and happiness for everyone. This is the kind of friend we want to be and the kind of friend we like to keep!

In my view, a true friend:

1. never make you feel guilty.
2. never make you feel obliged.
3. never make you feel like less or more than them.
4. notices your kids and not just their own!
5. share their true feelings.
6. want the best for you.
7. makes you feel comfortable to be YOURSELF.

I have such a friend and last weekend she visited us from New Zealand:

She helped me choose some clothes for the kids @ the Fine Design Market.

When she left after the weekend, my kids were so upset; they cried.

We can be ourselves with her!

We are so lucky to have friends like this. There is nothing quite like a 'true friend' to enhance a family and to be our 'magic fix' when we need one! Thank you to all our true friends...