Friday, 14 December 2012

Magic Fix #22: Finding My Life's Purpose.

I think that women, especially mothers, grapple with finding their life's purpose. Once a women becomes a mother this search is compounded by a vital question: where do I belong? Do I carry on in the public domain, pursuing my career or "resign myself" to the private domain and play the underrated role of domestic housewife? But of course, just because a women (like myself!) have chosen to live their lives in the private sphere does not mean that they need to resign themselves from the public sphere. If you are reading my blog, I rest my case.

For some years, I struggled with my "role" as a mother. That was my first mistake. I considered motherhood almost like a part that I played in a script. I was to follow a set pattern of ideas, stick to the script, rule with my head and eventually (just maybe) it'll lead me away from the "problems" of motherhood back into a "real" vocation.

But, of course, as soon as you give birth to that baby, it doesn't get any more "real" than that! It took me some years to shove the script and realize that there is only one thing I needed to follow: my HEART! I ditched the baby books, the flash cards, the coffee mornings and everything else that was "expected" and decided to "just be" with my children.

It wasn't that I never met up with other mothers, or even read a book for some ideas on parenting, or taught my children at home but I made a conscious decision not to let these things dominate how I related to my children. I just wanted to look at them, kiss them, love them, listen to them without all that mental noise, the social distractions and of course the pressures of expectations (surprisingly by other mothers!). Motherhood doesn't ever need be a hard slog, with daily challenges with some merciful grace now and then, if only you let your thinking get out of your way and let your heart lead the way.

Now I parent with my heart and not my head and boy has it made all the difference in the world. Not only are my relationships with my children joyous on a daily basis but the guilt and obligation that society put upon mothers no longer keep me shackled. I am free to be wholeheartedly, happily and unapologetically a mother, a blogger, a crafter, a sewer, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a lover and much much more every single day.

It is so simple and beautifully summed up by one of my favorite women in the world:

Do you feel like you are playing a "role" as a mother or have you found your life's purpose?


  1. Beautiful and relatable writing, Dharshi.

    I'm not a mother, but I'm also always trying to figure out who I am.

  2. Thank you Alex! Looking forward to seeing wedding photos.

  3. What a poignant post Dharshi. My children injected a new purpose into my life the moments they breathed their first breaths. It is such an incredible role to (imperfectly) fill. Now that they are no longer tiny babies - I am beginning to want to do more..although i am not sure what that "more" is. xx - Monica

    1. I think your blog is such a fabulous celebration of your lovely children, it is a wonderful legacy in itself Monica! I am excited to see what more you do end up doing, 'cos you are one amazing talented lady. I wish you well!!! xx


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